Notes

1 Oct 2020
Just really grieving for the world
What if it doesn’t get better
I’m struggling
Feeling overwhelmed
Empathy hard – can’t live in the world like this but how do you stay alive
Is it self centred to want to die

11 Oct 2020
Wired from the emotions of the poetry event
Anxious about ell tomorrow
Feeling on edge and scared
Very strung out about the state of the world
Feeling powerless and vaguely aware and hurting about the bad stuff out there
Sensitive to noises
Feeling stressed and pressure because of work
Worried about department change
Just feeling stretched thin and hard to get attention or looking after
Can’t reach out to anyone now
Feel sick
Anxious about not sleeping and being tired for work
Feel abandoned and can’t breathe
I need help

5.20am
Heart heavy beating hard
Feel sick
Anxious still
Ell was pretty ok about talking tomorrow, seems like it will actually be fine
Had some revelations about how I feel about myself

5.50 am still sleepy tired feel sick too sick to sleep
I haven’t felt like this in ages

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